Bastard (Cedar) Slimming Tea

Dear Dr Martha Tilaar,

Why must I only know the existence of the BASTARD CEDAR SLIMMING TEA now?!
How come 'our paths only cross' now?
I could have been hot stuff then leh!!!

You see Buk..

I used to be a really cute teenager. (Gemuk la tu)

I'm the one in green, Buk. *Waves at my JJC mates!*

(Badan gedebab still so brave to pose in front)

So I got rather stressed about my weight and resorted to taking a particular brand of slimming tea.

*That slimming tea really should be named BAS&%$@ instead lor*

My best fwen in JJC, Azean can vouch for this, Buk because she also same same.

(Actually I dragged her into this:S)

Well, there was a promotion at the pharmacy then.. "Buy 1 Get 1 Free" kind of thingy.

So, being the caring friend that I was, I gave Azean the other extra box.

Blame our obsession with being skinny on Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera lah.

BOTH of them exposed their tight tummies in their music videos "Hit me baby one more time" and Genie in a bottle."

Their tummies were really flat man then. Ours?

Well, our belly buttons would magically disappear whenever we sit, Buk.

Sedih banget.

We were mad excited to try out the slimming tea and be transformed into Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera because the box read," Guaranteed Weight Loss!"

They forgot to include this too man: "Guaranteed Poop Champ!"

Thank God I had no plans to go out when I drank the tea at home for if I were outside, let's just say God bless my panties.

SURE kes gencet.

Tummy SI BEI pain, I had to be stationed in the toilet..my butt glued to toilet bowl...TRAUMATIC!

I called Azean.

Me: Hello Cik! Azean ada?

Her Mom: Azi dalam toilet.

Yeah, you guessed it right.

Member pon berak berak.

We stopped taking the tea on that very same day and resorted to exercise.

Dr Martha Tilaar,

I must be honest with you. I do not really have good impressions on slimming teas after that episode with the blardy BAST%$# slimming tea.

So, I was hesitant to try your Bastard Cedar Slimming tea because I was afraid it'd give the runs.

However after some research reveals that bastard cedar leaves reduces diarrhea and cholestrol level, I thought I should give yours a try since I also sick and tired of my bloated tummy.

I was on 'standby' at home after drinking your tea (in case it gives me the runs!)

But it didn't! YEEEHA!

And I am not even tucking in the tummy when this picture was taken.

Bye Bye Bunchittttos. Woots!

Once again, thanks Dr Martha Tilaar for this invention.

It'd make a lot of ladies smile.

And my ladies, I've got good news for you babesies.

If you happen to shop at Martha Tilaar located at Marina Square #02-341....

When you wanna pay for your make up/hair/bodycare/slimming/WHATEVER Martha Tilaar products at the counter, do mention NURA J BLOG to enjoy 10% off okay!

Best arrrr! Happy Shopping!