Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Just for laughs

So, we've heard so many maid stories.

Some sad.
Some horrifying.
And many times, hilarious.

So far, my Indonesian helper, Juma, is alright.
I just thank God she ain't a freakazoid.
I had one who was so freaky that I sent her back to the agency after 2 weeks.
She does not smile at all!
However, she looked freaking friendly on her biodata lor.
Bila posing amik gambar, smile pulak. Mentel.

She would talk to herself... (weird)
She loved listening to Tamil radio stations... (weirder)
She would answer me back in Cantonese (worked in HK before) whenever I spoke to her. (Off to the agency you go!)

Now, despite the fact that my new helper, Juma is normal (Thank God!), however, there were times she has driven me absolutely crazy.

I am not that of an organised person. So, I am sure you can imagine the state of my wardrobe.
The kind where there will be an avalanche when you open it.
Pre-Juma, everytime I opened my wardrobe, I'd have to tahan the 'downpour' of clothes with my body. Sometimes, Nyla would join in too and help me push the clothes which were about to fall back into the cupboard. Thanks Nyla. I know I can count on you!
Of course, making the wardrobe organised was one of the priorities when Juma arrived.
So just before I left to send Nyla to school,
I brought Juma to my bedroom, opened my wardrobe and told her to fold the clothes neatly.
Juma let out a BIG GASP followed by a shriek followed by a rather loud "ASTAFIRULLAHALAZIM MAAAAAMMMMMM!"
Eh eh. Reaction no need so drama mama can?! Like as if, you damn neat. Chey!

Now, the thing with these domestic helpers is that we assume that they know the 'common sense' stuff but in truth, due to the fact that they live in kampongs, they are not really well exposed and thus, not really knowledgeable. I had quite a shock when I opened my door one morning.

"hahaha ape sey... kalau aku perompak, sure tak jadi rompak pasal kesiankan orang yang memasang." -Haryani O.
So taught her the right way.
The next day, this greeted me.
*Rubs chest*
After a rather intense crash course (repetitive), Juma finally got it right.
Finally! Yeay! Now I can heave a sigh of relief because my gate is properly locked and insyallah, no break ins. Hehehehe!
I told Juma to go to the shop downstairs and buy some stuff.
Mr E was watching television.
She came up to Mr E and salam-ed him la. Stoppit can! I don't even kiss Mr E's hand when I wanna go to the shop downstairs.
What the hell? And poor Mr E, he was so shocked that he actually offered her his hand! Lepak giler.
Mr E also shared with me a rather funny story.
Last time, his mother's maid was also the kind who made a lot of boo boos.
After they fetched her from the maid agency, she actually removed her sports shoes at the carpark right before she stepped into their car. (Like how you remove your shoes before you enter a house...This one thinks that you must do just that before you enter a vehicle.)
Speaking of sports shoes, ALL my maids wore sport shoes whenever we fetched them from maid agencies. Yours leh?
Anyway back to Mr E's previous maid.
Because she left her shoes at the carpark, obviously, she walked kaki ayam (barefoot) to their home.
But wanna know of all the funny stories I've encountered/heard, my previous one, Yanti, still holds the record.
I've ever blogged about this in my previous blog then, if I'm not mistaken.
Here goes.
Papa J asked Yante to wash his car at the basement carpark one early morning.
More than 2 hours passed and she was still not home yet.
"Sure chit chat chit chat with other maids washing their employers' cars one!" I told my dad.
Batu api abis.
So, my dad told me to check on her.
I went downstairs.
No such scene like the one I mentioned to my dad.
In fact my helper was the lone ranger scrubbing a car.
And then I noticed that, that car wasn't even my dad's!!
I told her to stop and go home.
Her reply,"Ada lagi mobil belum saya bersih-in Mbak..."
(I have not washed the other cars.)
Yeap, this Bibik has helped to wash not only my dad's car but a few of my (lucky) neighbours' too.
She actually thought that she had to wash ALL the cars parked in the basement lor.
I'm sure you peeps also have funny maid stories right?! Share leh!


  1. *giggles* Let me share with you one funny incident with maid.. It was her 1st week working with me so that time I just made bird nest for myself...I told her after it has cooled down put it in a fridge. So she asked "apa ni ma'am?" I told its Bird Nest, dia blur sekejab so i translate ah "ngences burung".
    & coincidentally I have a Parrot at home.
    So when I looked for the chilled bird nest in fridge, I could not find it at all...
    So I asked her where is it, guess her reply....
    "Oh Ma'am saya dah kasi Lala (my parrot name) minum"
    I dont know whether I should be angry or not... I just burst into laughter
    *sigh* my parrot pon pandai minum bird nest hor lol~

    Idah Sariff

  2. Idah! Hahahahahahahahha! I am laughing so bad! I can imagine! Lepakk.
    So your parrot how? Heee!

  3. Sib baik parrot tu hidup... mcm once in a lifetime delicacies...

  4. hehe. Read this entry I laughed so bad!
    My family roped in to have a maid for my grandparents, ya know to give them break.
    One of the maids we used to had, she just did some sweeping and went to sleep.
    When there are people sitting on the floor, she'll just continue sweeping. Pernah satu kali, somebody was praying and she just continue sweeping.
    *sigh* Tried to teach her but nah, nothing did change. So had to get a new one.
    Got another maid and she loves to put chilli.
    One day we ate siput in lemak cili padi, alamak! one bite already burning.
    She said she liked the spiciness, she masukkan 10 and more. aduh. But other than that she's fine(:

    hehe take care(:

  5. hehe. tkle angkat lor your previous maid, YANTI!
    for my bro's case.
    there are these 2 events that happen.
    the first one, it was her 2nd day, and she already woke up at 5am! to do the housework chores.
    i woke up around 6am to pray subuh and my bro also awake to get ready for work.
    and the whole house was lighted up and all fans were on.
    so we were wondering why was that so, at 6am in the morning?!
    so my bro was angry and asked her,
    she said in a very selamba tone,
    "Iya pak, saya yang buka kerana saya mahu lantai semua cepat kering" -as she just finish mopping the whole house! hahahahhaha.
    and another one,
    she was in the kitchen.
    cuci pinggan mangkuk.
    then my mom went in and saw that she biarkan the air flow just like that.
    my mom scold her and guess what she says
    "Iya bu saya suka main air"

    and2, my mom buka radio dengar syarahan, she secretly change to another station to dengar lagu2 english! hahahahhahahahha.

  6. saya giggles macam nak rak di opis ini apabila membaca blog tentang maid awak dan jugak cerita tentang burung minum bird nest. LOL! LOL! LOL!

  7. Hello All,

    I read this blog and cover my mouth..tak boleh tahan nak kekekeke..Lucky I'm in office or else pecah perut sia...Kekekekeke