Thursday, October 7, 2010

A scare

Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, I thought I'd share something very personal. Only extremely close friends and family knew about this. To all, thank you for being very fiercely quiet throughout one of the toughest times in my life.

Believe it or not, exactly a year ago, I had a scare. Nyla was lying on top of me and she felt something funny on one of my breasts.

It was a lump.

I could not sleep the whole night. And because it was during the month of October, everything I read was about breast cancer. :(

My parents were very worried. My brother and husband were already thinking of raising funds for medical costs and assured me not to worry. I headed to the clinic hoping that it was nothing. However, the doctor referred me to go for an ultrasound. :(

I made everyone cry. My usually chatty Papa J was unusually quiet. Mister E always stayed up late and I actually caught him all teary eyed one particular night and we cried together. Man, I've never been so scared before.

I am still crying as I'm typing this because truly, those moments were so so difficult.

The wait for the results was terrible. When the clinic called and told me the results were in, my whole body was shaking. My mother was surprisingly calm. Everyday, she tells me to tawaqqal to Allah.

When Dr Mas Ayu gave the all clear (ALHAMDULLILAH!) my mom, the person I thought to be strong, finally broke down into tears and hugged me. I realised that, that was also one of the very most darkest periods of her life. Mom, I'm sorry to make you so so worried but I thank you for being that pillar of strength.

I cried so so bad when I first watched this video last year as I prepared myself for the worst. When I watched it again just a while ago, I still cried my eyes out. She's such a strong woman and I applaud her partner for being such a supportive one.

So ladies, should you feel any lump, go get yourselves checked aite. (This is not an advertorial)

May God bless us with good health.

Allah, thank you. :)